Choosing the Opposite
On dark sides, virtue, and what actually makes a good person.
“You could die. At least tell me your name,” she asked.
“It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me,” replied the Batman.
Those lines from the movie Batman Begins (2005) changed my views on what makes someone a good person.
I used to tell myself I am kind, I am honest, and so many “I ams am” statements that show character. I recited them the way a child recites a prayer, because the rhythm felt safe.
However, that wasn’t enough, because being a good person isn’t as easy as telling yourself that you are. The declaration and the deed are not in the same country.
You can spend a lifetime in one and never once set foot in the other.
Why Before How
But before knowing how to become a good person, there is something more urgent to ask, and it is not about method. It is about motive.
Knowing how to become a good person isn’t enough when you don’t know why you want to become one. You can read different articles or books, listen to podcasts, and even watch inspiring movies, but if you don’t know the why, the how will be useless.
It’s just like a mouse continuously running inside a scroll wheel without knowing why it’s doing it.
Therefore, before you know the how, ask yourself why you want to become a man of character. Why are you here? If it’s already clear, you should continue, but if it’s not, ponder this, and once you know it, you’re good to go.
The Hardest Thing in the World
And so, to the question itself. If one asks you what the hardest thing to do is, then it’s not free solo climbing or completing an ultramarathon.
Those are extraordinary trials of the body and the will, and anyone who has done them deserves every piece of the wonder they earned. But they are ultimately private wars, fought between a person and a mountain, a person and their own lungs. They do not ask you to keep faith with someone who has disappointed you. They do not ask you to be honest when the lie is easier, more profitable, and entirely unprovable.
Instead, the hardest thing in the world to do is be a good person.
A good person has to make sacrifices, leave their comfort zone, and do things that most people aren’t willing to do. And that’s not only enough; they have to go the extra mile in whatever they do that makes them a man of character. Haven’t you seen it in movies where the protagonist has to face countless trials and challenges, and only then do they achieve what they set out to achieve? Life is not especially different from that. The trials are less cinematic, quieter, and therefore harder to recognise as trials at all.
But they are there, and they ask for the same thing the story always asks for, which is the willingness to keep going when stopping is what every reasonable instinct recommends.
But it doesn’t mean that a person with character only has good things in them. No, that’s not possible, because they have their dark side as well.
They have their moments of doubt, moments of selfishness where they want to gain by causing harm to others, and moments of keeping their ego alive. But despite all of those, they choose to do the opposite, and that’s why it is the hardest thing in the world. It’s not easy to say no to things you want in life that are in front of you; you can pick them, but you choose not to.
And yet, it’s what makes it an attainable summit, hard but not impossible.
Nothing in this world is impossible except bringing the dead. But with the right tools and commitment, anyone can achieve anything. The same is true with becoming a good person.
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